Friday, 18 January 2013

Noggy, my cousins used to call it...

Quilt is what Aaron called his.

What is she on about?

Comfort blankets that's what.

I've got one.

'No! You surprise me!'
said in a voice that smacks of... to be honest nothing
surprises me with you LL.

I'm wearing mine as I sit on the sofa
 watching the much anticipated snow.
Well to call it snow is a slight exaggeration,
it's the thinnest, meanest looking snow you ever did see.
I digress.

A Peruvian Collection catalogue regularly, with gay abandon plops on the mat...
well you would won't you at the prices they charge!
I have in the past, in a fit, with my leg in the air bought from them.  
That old adage... you get what you pay for certainly applies to their clothes.
Wonderful quality.

Recently I've bought a body shaping slip.
Alright I know, before you even think it, my podge bod
doesn't for one moment look like this. 

It reminds me of what an all in-one
corselette must have felt like.
The nearest I got was, the wonder knickers of yore called...
 Passion was never killed quicker - Panti-Girdles.
Panti is what you did in struggling in and out of them.
I'm telling you now, the pants weren't of an exciting nature, more
a push and pull you nature.
Once in, you were  bulletproof.

On receiving my much awaited slip, on it went.
The idea was to smooth out the bulges.
More chance of a steam roller flattening Scafell!
I peeled it off and popped it in the drawer marked...
More Wasted Money

Later, much later, after my return from York, where in a sale I
bought a lovely dress, slightly, only slightly, you understand:
well it was in the sale and half price...
Out came the slip: shoe-horning in the many and various
 was a work-out in itself.
Once on, and tripping out and about, I felt strangely
snug... smug even!
Boy did it feel good, holding me in all the right places, 
which I ought to say now... a brave bra never has.
I'm encased, enthralled, enraptured by what on the face of it
is a roll of tightly knitted lycra...
and blooming marvellous it feels too!

With every fibre of my being, I try, oh how I try, not
to suck my thumb as I fondle the material.

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