Thursday, 17 January 2013

I slapped the photo onto the counter and...

in imperious tones said
'Don't say a word!'
She gulped, her mouth opened and closed...
'Going anywhere nice for your holidays?'
she enquired.

Yes, you've guessed it,
yesterday I went to the hairdressers.

For a long time I've fancied having a major short
hair-cut.  Yesterday was the day.  As she snipped, visions of
Judy Dench filled my mind.  
Hands clasped to my bosom, 
'Is there still time for my thesp aspirations to rise to the surface?'
idly flitted through my brain.

I tried not to look as the grey curls fell to the floor:
looking for all the world like ash from secret papers, 
burnt by an agent on a covert mission.
Daniel would be proud.

The lesbian-lookalike peering back at me,
quite took my breath away.
'Must remember to polish my diker boots when I get home'
I thought as I stomped off.

Cleaning my teeth last night, I peeped into the only kind mirror in the house; 
we've all got them haven't we?
'Blimey, I didn't realise I had so many frown lines on my flaming forehead...
Bugger that!'

This morning finds me looking like Jo Brand on a bad hair day
crossed with Ken Dodd having been given the number twos
at the barbers.
What I didn't realise was...
after a night of major martial arts with the duvet;
 I would look as if I'd been scared shitless by a horror movie;
that in fact, I was the main character.  And a blooming scary one at that.

Dame Judy rest easy.

'I only told you to cut the bloody ends off!'  


  1. I hate it when that happens ;-) it ell grow.. I have a very vivid memory of my mum many years ago going to treat herself to a new do at vidal sasoon (not sure that is how you spell it!) anyhow she came back looking like a french poodle and cryed for a week ...poor mum she never went to a hairdresser again, and then I bloomin went and married one...I get a haircut once in a blue moon, as its like being married to a plumber and never getting your plumbing sorted...
    p.s there are some very nice hats about... and it is the right weather for it xx
    love sophie

    1. Don't get me wrong Sophie, I was the daft tart that wanted it done! Karen and I go back a long time... she's got the full measure of the diva she's dealing with.


  2. but nothing takes the years off quicker than a short pixie crop!
    Doesn't take a mo to damp down in the morning, stick some product through the ends and hey presto you're ready to face the world- with cheekbones and a saucy smile!
    Go girl go!

  3. Cheekbones, along with hip bones long gone. Saucy smile... courtesy of ketchup dribbled on me chin... I get the picture.

    Girl's already gorn!


  4. I'll bet you look fab! And I think Jo Brand's rather lovely (although I can't convince Mr N.)

  5. I'm with you Nilly... I think Jo Brand is super. What I like is, she doesn't seem to give fig.

    Mr. N 's obviously got no taste... well apart from loving you that is!


  6. You do realize you are living every woman's dream.
    Hair so short that it can't decide to do something on its own.
    No longer obsessively watching the weather forecast.
    An extra 15 minutes (or 1/2 hour depending on how horrible your
    hair is to style) each day that you never had before.

  7. Not sure how I ended up here but I've been chuckling away at some of your posts - great writing! Pleased to meet you x Jane