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Saturday, 12 January 2013

As I snuzzle on the sofa...

under the
John Lewis,
pretend brown bear skin 
from deepest, outerest, outer Mongolia.

Clad in fanny coloured pink
Sloppy Joe hoodie,
with great excitement I await the snow.
Provisions are quite properly laid on;
not forgetting of course the layers of blubber laid down
over the intervening months;
in readiness for just such an occasion as this.

Peeping out from under the many and various layers,
woman-made and synthetic, I spy the first fat flake.
 'Look!'  
My cry only slightly muffled by the
Pisa towers of high calorific supplies that quite rightly
inhabit the soon to be, Arctic tundra.
From out of the king's chair opposite


the man raises his regal head.

'It's started!'
One fat snowflake does not a blizzard make.
Alright it was followed by two weedy-looking relations...
'We're off!'

Piss-poor I make it...
hard on its heels came...
thin, mean and very lower working class...
drizzle.

'Pop upstairs will you my ole metrological matey
and get an up to date weather cheque!'

Talk amongst yourselves while he's gone.

Tripping the light fantastic, down he came, looking for all the world like
beau brummell of the met office.
'No snow, sun forcast for tomorrow!'

'Wot?  You sure you didn't look on the tabloid
page 3, silicon implants, false smiles and botox
in the valleys, weather page i.e ITV?'
'No... It was definitely the beeb!'

'Please  (Weedling tone now adopted)
can you find one that suits and report back?'

In the meantime, even the bleeding rain has stopped!






9 comments:

  1. Love the header photo, are you starting your bonfire pile early? All I have got to say to you Linda is why do you want snow???!!!!!! It is so cold!!

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    Replies
    1. It's the high Arctic rubbish dump that is my brain.

      LLX

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  2. It's forecast for here tonight............ yay!

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    Replies
    1. You far away from Kent? Can't see snow coming here anytime soon... it's too blooming blue, bright and clear. Nicotine light in the sky gets my pulses racing... Go on Mother Nature have another Capstan Full Strength; don't take any notice of the warnings on the packet, that's only for mere mortals.

      LLX

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  3. snow is due here soon, although I prefer it to wait until Wednesday as I'll be off work then!
    As long as I have tea and toilet paper I am happy!!!

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  4. By that I meant I'm not worrying about running out of other supplies...just in case it is misconstrued that tea and toilet paper are the things that make me happy the most in life.

    Oh and I like your new header too.

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    Replies
    1. Glynis, I'm with you on the tea front; it's my favourite beverage... after bubbles!

      Always keep a little pack of Bronco to hand, I always say.

      Glad you like the change; pity it won't lift the calibre of prose.

      LLX

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  5. Mr N loves the "king's" cosy corner, crate's of beer at the ready! He's making plans...

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    Replies
    1. Decadence is the name of the game here!

      LLX

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