Sunday, 22 September 2013

I've got a galloping case of...

the hijab heebeegeebees.

Call me old fashioned and Oh how
wrong you'd be... you want to
see me from this side: 
added to which my biker boots have 
just come out of summer hibernation;
so I can't be that decrepit.

I feel it so strongly that some women
are expected to swathe themselves
in fabric from head to toe...
It begs the question...
is that what they want?

Since I've put on a pound or two,
there's nothing I'd like better than
to throw the old candlewick
bedspread over my head, with a slit for my eyes
and waddle around to my hearts content, 
secure in the knowledge that folk wouldn't
know of the flabber-flubber beneath.
No worries, it'd have to be a King size,
all the better to accommodate
the Fortnam and Mason's hamper that I could
secrete about my person, to feed the
inner woman.

Let's think about suggesting to our
men they dress to please us.

'Keep it covered lads!'

For the tall and slim men they could
wear the green plastic rotary line cover that you can
buy in these funny catalogues that sell everything from
hernia supports to incontinence pants.

Tubbier men could customise a

By the same token, in this country we have gone
completely the other way.
Girls think nothing of going out dressed in skirts
no bigger than curtain pelmets.
And puke-a-huweey-huweey!

The world's gone raving mad.

Monday morning...

On a more serious note, I ought to say I applaud the fact that as women we can wear exactly what we feel happiest in.  Although I do wonder whether this proliferation of niqabs is healthy?  In my mind it begs the question as to women being perceived as second class citizens.  Are the women deciding to don this apparel as a way of thumbing their noses at the anti-Islamic feelings that are sweeping the world.  If they are, in my book they are cutting off their noses to spite their faces!  With the same token, girls today are bombarded with the thoughts and pictures that impossibly thin is the way forward. They are imposing a huge strain on themselves in the same way women are that wander around in a mountain of cloth.  With just their eyes showing, can it be safe for them to manoeuvre through the trials of everyday living?  Added to which the logistics of  conversations and essential things like eating, not to mention the heat generated.  Having a pee in a public lavatory must be a nightmare, having to hitch that lot up from the not altogether clean floor.

The thing that really worries me is, that it is men leaning on their wives, girlfriends in order for them not to be looked at.  I honestly think the opposite is true... they get looked at far more than they would if they just dressed demurely.


  1. Whilst I think niqabs and veils are depressing & repressive, I rather like to see hijabs when accompanying males are wearing matching immaculate, usually beige, long robes. But it makes my blood boil to see blokes in T shirts, shorts & sandals whilst their ladies are labouring along in heavy black tents. Why not go the whole way and wear shackles?

    1. Yes Nilly, it's the inequality that makes me cross. Even when the men wear their long robes, have you noticed the colour is pale to reflect the heat, whereas black absorbs the heat.