I've got a galloping case of...

the hijab heebeegeebees.

Call me old fashioned and Oh how

wrong you'd be... you want to

see me from this side: 

added to which my biker boots have 

just come out of summer hibernation;

so I can't be that decrepit.

I feel it so strongly that some women

are expected to swathe themselves

in fabric from head to toe...
It begs the question...
is that what they want?

Since I've put on a pound or two,

there's nothing I'd like better than

to throw the old candlewick

bedspread over my head, with a slit for my eyes

and waddle around to my hearts content, 

secure in the knowledge that folk wouldn't

know of the flabber-flubber beneath.

No worries, it'd have to be a King size,

all the better to accommodate

the Fortnam and Mason's hamper that I could

secrete about my person, to feed the

inner woman.

Let's think about suggesting to our

men they dress to please us.

'Keep it covered lads!'

For the tall and slim men they could

wear the green plastic rotary line cover that you can

buy in these funny catalogues that sell everything from

hernia supports to incontinence pants.

Tubbier men could customise a

yurt.

By the same token, in this country we have gone

completely the other way.

Girls think nothing of going out dressed in skirts

no bigger than curtain pelmets.

Muffs-a-go-go

Stilettos-a-trip-trip

And puke-a-huweey-huweey!

The world's gone raving mad.

Monday morning...

On a more serious note, I ought to say I applaud the fact that as women we can wear exactly what we feel happiest in.  Although I do wonder whether this proliferation of niqabs is healthy?  In my mind it begs the question as to women being perceived as second class citizens.  Are the women deciding to don this apparel as a way of thumbing their noses at the anti-Islamic feelings that are sweeping the world.  If they are, in my book they are cutting off their noses to spite their faces!  With the same token, girls today are bombarded with the thoughts and pictures that impossibly thin is the way forward. They are imposing a huge strain on themselves in the same way women are that wander around in a mountain of cloth.  With just their eyes showing, can it be safe for them to manoeuvre through the trials of everyday living?  Added to which the logistics of  conversations and essential things like eating, not to mention the heat generated.  Having a pee in a public lavatory must be a nightmare, having to hitch that lot up from the not altogether clean floor.

The thing that really worries me is, that it is men leaning on their wives, girlfriends in order for them not to be looked at.  I honestly think the opposite is true... they get looked at far more than they would if they just dressed demurely.