Thursday, 29 August 2013

How to pass the time when...

waiting for weekend guests to arrive.

Picture the scene...
for the first time this year the house is clean.
Dusted and polished to within an inch of its life.

When the family come to stay,
 I just drift around spraying the air with Pledge...
not this time though.

These are real guests!

I'm, Fanny in this house,

Ted is the char, butler, sommelier and K.P.
Johnnie come lately to Fanny's

When I complained about not having a
K.P. in a past life.
A man who shall be nameless
said in a very regal tone
'K.P? What do you mean?'
'Kitchen Porter... err...... Sir!'
'Oh I thought you meant 
Kensington Palace!'
Anyway I digress.

The house is ready, I'm clean and chilled
under my barrow load of slap.


'Yes please!'
 I grandly replied 

'Shall we have some
Victoria sponge?

'I don't think so, we'll be eating far too much 
over the next few days!'
said his master's voice of reason.
I hate clever sods don't you?
The butler then disappears for his afternoon
time off.
I sit fragrant in my King's chair
idly wondering what to do to while 
away the time before their arrival...
I know I'll have an Elizabeth Shaw
mint with my tea...

Is it any wonder I'm so damn fat?


  1. LL, sounds like a brilliant weekend in store for you. Enjoy!! I can almost smell the Pledge :)

    1. Can you smell the Victoria sponge though?


    2. No LL, but do wish I was there to taste it. Love cake :)

    3. When you are next in ole Blighty on a trek through the paddy fields of Pocklington, I'll bake one especially for you dear heart.


  2. Replies
    1. Will do! I just love feeding folk and having them stay; one of life's modest enjoyments.

      Show 'em a good time has always beenn my motto... perhaps that's were I went wrong in my earlier days!?!


  3. Best wishes with your guests and if you are making doughnuts Madam Craddock style....I hope they turn out like Fanny's....
    Did Johnny really say that ?
    Julie x

    1. Julie, I was told that story by a television producer as I was waitng to do a live cookery programme at Pebble Mill eons ago. My exploits on live telly are a tale for another day methinks!

      I think he did, poor old sod; it was probably a dim and distant memory for him... the sight of her's, that is!


  4. Lucky you - I've lived my adult life surrounded by men who think delightful food appears by magic!
    Not that Mr N could tell artisan bread from plastic white sliced...

    1. Nilly, I know I'm a lucky girl, not at all like Fanny... although some days without the modesty tablets I could so easily turn!