Wednesday, 21 August 2013

Fracking... an everyday story...

of gullible folk,
lied to by scheming politicians.

This is the way forward,
if you are to believe one sodding word of
what they have to say.

I well remember the promises of 
cheap gas and oil when the
North Sea was plundered.

Wind turbines are now a blot on the landscape,
and not a hugely efficient way of generating electricity. 

What I want to know from my really
'know very little' standpoint is...
what about wave power?

As far as I know, you can't turn back tides,
or come to that time.
Wind you have to wait for, or put another way,
be very embarrassed when it catches you unawares
 and you trump in a public place.
How do I know?
Well I'm going to tell you...
The other day in a National Trust shop (Sissinghurst) I was idly perusing
the books when a very elegant lady made a very fruity sound.
It must have been loud because even I heard it!
She guiltily turned and for once in my life I was very
discreet, I feigned immense interest in 
the book in my hand which happened to be
'Gone with the Wind'*

Now I'm fully aware you think it was me,
hand on heart this time it wasn't!

Wave power, is I suppose hugely expensive,
Tell me what isn't?

Ian, Mr OW got it right,
when he suggested they frack under the
Houses of Parliament,
or the City.
There's a man I admire, who in my opinion is 
very much in touch with his feminine side.
What makes me say that?
Well he's one of the few men who it would seem has the 
courage to comment on my blog. 
Added to which,
I can't see him getting his knickers in a twist
about women's problems and the like.
Spiders yes!

Alright I know I'm not the normal old dear...
Margaret Rutherford 

crossed with 
Peggy Mount, I'll admit.

Throw Lady Docker into the mix

and you've more or less got the picture.

Fracking I've decided should be called
yes you've guessed it...


because that's what man
is doing to the planet.

* That was a fib; the book was a self improvement tome entitled...
  'Confessions of a Feather Duster, cleaning through the ages'*

* Another fib, I'm afraid.


  1. Linda
    I'd just like to add myself to the list of men with the courage to comment on your blog! I'm all for harnessing time's winged chariot as a source of power, it is, as the poet has it, always hurrying near, is inexorable and the supply of it is inexhaustible. Not sure about the practicalities but it has to be better than most of the other fracking ideas!

    1. Wow, that's made me stop and think: where would you store it though? In a huge bunker called 'Yesteryear'. How would you then harness it, because the minute you'd open the door it'd be oft!


  2. Hi, I just read your recent comment on The Cloth Shed. I always thought Baldrick was saying 'cobbler's' which goes back to rhyming Cockney slang. If you said 'cobbler's' that was expanded to 'cobbler's awls' which rhymes with 'balls'. So, when Baldrick said, "That's a lot of cobbler's, me lord" he was meaning balls, and as we all know, he more than likely would say that! With your keen interest in words, I thought I'd put this out for you to think about.

    1. Hi Candice, yes I did know that I was misquoting him, my 'keen interest' also includes words that are wrong, but somehow strangely right. Cobbles was what Julie was exposing, so cobbles it had to be. My hero author Hilary Mantel said to never explain, let the reader work it out; on this occasion I think I ought.

      Thanks for commenting, good to have you here.


  3. The other day I read... 'we're treating this world like there's somewhere else to go to' that's what's frightening, that the people in charge think it belongs to them and they can sell it off like everything else.
    I do so want it to have been 'Gone with the wind'.

    1. Now there's a phrase that encapsulates the current state of the problem neatly: 'we're treating this world like there's somewhere else to go to' ...

      Sooner or later the process that is Nature is going to scratch the itch, and we are but fleas in one armpit and no way to migrate to another.

    2. Like Mr H, I too love that phrase; says it all in one neat sentence.


  4. Gadzooks madam, I am so far from the town of Well-Balanced that one must drive through the towns of Unholy-Mix and Still-Thoroughly-Annoying-All-Things-Considered to even get to the road whereupon I live.

    I prefer the term "Full-spectrum man" (I think I just coined it); happy to wave a stiff upper lip in the air durin' emergencies but reserves the right to cry in public at funerals, films and good books. And spiders. I remember that my elder brother actually laughed out loud the first time he saw me ironing a shirt - I suspect that he hitherto imagined that his bedroom carpet had some magical domestic pact with the washing machine, the iron and the wardrobe...

    I can't help but wonder if fifty percent or more of the eco-battle isn't about reducing consumption rather than increasing energy sources. Dressing a little more for winter indoors rather than just oiking up the old boiler thermostat. Work needs to be something folk can walk to rather than drive to, and we really need to stop shipping spoons ten thousand miles from China to Sheffield. The difficulty is that Her Majesty's public are all for change, so long as they have to make not the slightest change in their own tastes and routines!

    p.s. Margaret Rutherford was magnificent - in my list of "to do" jobs is a task "write a sci-fi story along the lines of Star Trek with Margaret Rutherford as the star-ship Captain and Stringer Davis as First Officer" ... She would have handled the Borg with aplomb. She will do so, once I write the story!

  5. My good fellow, the funny thing is, I had exactly the same response when a friend called and saw me Henrying (as opposed to Rogering) the carpet. They rolled in the fluff and dog hairs, holding their sides; their laughter, rearranging the Miss Havisham dust and cobwebs it had taken me years to collect. It was all rather disconcerting.

    Liberty bodices are the way forward, I'm sure you'll agree.

    Get on with the story and stop at once that other tweeting/twanking nonsense.


  6. I was at a large international antiques fair last week and found that certain international buyers were trumping (family word!)with abandon. I daren't say which nationality for fear of offending them - just look for the country that doesn't need to frack!

    1. What constitutes a family word Nilly? Until only fairly recently (fib), well to be honest, last quarter of the 20th century, I thought muff was a family word. It now appears I was misinformed. Life's a bitch!