Thursday, 28 March 2013

Rock of Ageing...

You know you're old when...

you don a beret to walk the dog in the perishing cold,
thinking for all the world that you look like a
hot French tart...

When in fact you look like an burnt Bakewell...

or that you've just stepped out of a repeat of
Dad's Army.

You know you're old when... you remember
Dad's Army the first time round.

You know you're old when...
you carefully wash and iron your clothes,
then don't want to wear them, because
you're going to have to do it all over again.

You know you're old when...
jogging bottoms hold you in thrall.

The last thrall you were held in,
was when you watched Johnny Depp
in a film on the telly; carefully remembering to
tie bandage round your head 
to stop your jaw from dropping in wonder.

Well that, and losing your teeth down the back of the sofa (fib)!

You know you're old when...
 the most excitement in your life is
watching the round dots in the frogspawn turn into ovals.

You know you're old when...
your hearing aid whistles and the Dover coastguard
responding to the call,
knocks on the door to check you're okay.
Needless to say,
 you're the only person this side of Watford that didn't hear it.

You know you're old when...
 you remember peeling off a stocking...

Wait for it...

in order that your hot date could use it
as an emergency fan belt to get his old motor ticking over nicely.

You know you're old when...
come four-o-clock
the stays get cast aside and you let it all hang out.

You know you're old when...
whatever it is in Hacks 

make you feel fuzzy inside?

You know you're old when...
You say...
'Well of course I'm fasting!'
When in fact you're slowing.

'An archaeologist is the best husband a woman can have;
the older she gets, the more interested he is in her.'
Agatha Christie


  1. Hi, I'm new to your blog but will be following from now on, you sound like my cupo of tea. lol
    I well remember peeling stockings off, and matching gloves bag and shoes, and as for letting it all hang out around 4 o'clock its sometimes earlier than that. lol
    Look forward more of your posts.

    1. Hello Briony, thanks for becoming a follower. I thought I was going to be stuck at 40 for all time... on second thoughts that's not bad place to be stuck... Forever 40!


  2. You always write such an interesting post Linda, don't know where you get all the fantastic images to match your words. Jayne x

    1. Thanks Jayne, I really appreciate you always taking the time out to comment.


  3. Thank goodness tights were invented just in time for mini skirts! I wonder if you were a Dolly Bird?

    1. The funny thing was, when I landed up on the NW coast of Scotland (near the top) my neighbours... four batchelors, described me as a dolly bird. Needless to say I was highly amused, as I must have been all of thirty three... far too old for such classification. Mind you, all the likely women had beaten the hell out of the place two centuries ago... so I suppose to them I was a mere sweet young 'wee' lassie?

      Happy Days!