Monday, 4 March 2013

My new name for the...

Sunday Times...
The Toss-Pot Times
Because I counted more than
33 photographs 
yes Thirty Frigging Three
photo's of 
Jeremy Clarkson.
Now don't get me wrong I'm nothing if not 
HUGELY biased.
I wrote about my feelings ages ago about the BBC
wasting our licence fees on programmes like Top Gear.
Three grown men capering around the world smashing up cars
led by the Oh So lovely (obviously his own inflated opinion)
Jeremy Clarkson.

I'm fully aware, I'm now coming across as a real Granny Grump,
and you know something, I don't care.
Is it any wonder that kids find fun in nicking cars and driving at speed.
Even fully legit young drivers roar up behind you,
you can see in your rear view mirror their mates egging them on.
And yes, an old grey haired dear zooming around at 31 mph in her
scratch black Smart with matching fluffy dice
is fair game.

On opening the Times, I huffed and puffed at the sight of my least favourite
man on the top of the front page.
The motoring section was featuring 20 years of J.C.
not content with illustrating each year with one picture, we
were blessed with 31 foto's.
My man, who by now you probably have a great deal of sympathy with, 
said mildly
'Lin they are making a thing of his contribution to motoring!'
'Humph... double Humph!'

'Daft tart!'  I hear you thinking, just don't buy it.
Well we wouldn't, but we do enjoy the culture section;
which before you get the wrong idea we only use for the...
telly section.


  1. oh Linda...admittedly he IS a total waste of space...but I do really enjoy Top Gear!
    (and I remember kids nicking cars, and driving at top speed with mates egging them on, before TG was ever shown on the telly!)

  2. Contribution to motoring! Don't get that one bit. Never ever watched top gear - have no interest in cars whatsoever except to get from a to b in one piece! Love the culture too, great telly coverage! x

    1. I always say as long as it's got a wheel in each corner I'm happy. Although I do love my Smart car with red noses and fluffy dice, persian carpet and patchouli; my very upmarket tacky, but at the same time tasteful passion wagon!


    2. Patchouli, a girl after my own heart, I put it in the hoover bag! My friend Gill has it in her car, you smell so gorgeous when you get out. Aaaaah happy days x

  3. Jeremy Weremy Clarky Clarkson is, not to put too fine a point on it, please to excuse my French etcetera, a congenital genital.

    1. Oooh! I do a love an intellectual put-down. Just wish I had your command of the English language Mr OW; must try harder not to call a knob... a knob. Your way, by the time they've worked out there's an insult craftily hiding, even my stout legs could have carried me out of range.


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  5. I'm sure that JC has contributed to the 'Grumpy Old Men' TV series...perhaps you have more in common than you thought (I meant in grumpiness)!!!

    I do think he can be amusing - his appearances on Have I Got News For You for example - but not having seen Top Gear for some years now perhaps I just don't remember how bad/opinionated he is.

    I do like the Sunday Times too but haven't read it for ages - although we do buy it when we need a supply of paper for the fire.

    1. Oh dear Glynis... you could have a point... perish the thought!


  6. Oh, I agree, I agree, I agree! Just the mention of his name riles me.

  7. I'm with Vintage Jane when it comes to Clarkson - grrr. But I'm not so sure about James May - he bears more than a passing resemblance to cuddly Mr N.