Wednesday, 27 February 2013

Well I don't mind admitting it was...

The castle quivered in the cold.
The newbie volunteers stood around waiting for something to happen.
When eventually someone turned up saying
'You all okay?'
Guess who piped up
'Well no actually!'
Why, Oh Why is it always me?
Nothing like getting your new career off to a good start is there?
More hanging around while we waited for someone else to turn up.
By which time I was feeling decidedly crabby...
Am I doing the right thing, idly flitted through my mind and I ought to say
later in the day, the others admitted the same thoughts.

 I do have a tendency for straight talking, 
not that you'll have picked that up mind!
As I've got older I've got worse.
Ted often says after I've uttered a killer pronouncement...
"Think you should have taken a diplomacy tablet first Lin?'
My one word reply is usually something of the nature 
of mens' hairy hanging bits.
The grey matter then slowly, very slowly gurgles and wurgles, and into my 
lightly scrambled egg of a brain reluctantly I admit that he may have a point.
That fact never gets to see the light of day though.

What really annoys me is, in all walks of life,
telling the truth is the very last thing one should do.
Well that is until you're backed into a corner with a ruddy great
splintered oak stake up your arse... then it's okay...
'Well actually, er, that wasn't what happened, this is now my honest
We'll even offer to kiss it better and all will be forgotten...
or will it?

Alright we all know how easy it is to tell a fib,
why would you though?  Ultimately we know it will at some future date
appear out of the woodwork and bite you on the bum.
Easier to say it like it is: lose friends, votes, jobs, relationships.
Tough I know, however if you hadn't been less than truthful in the first place, you wouldn't be in the brown and smelly now.

Having said all that, I do have a problem being honest in a restaurant
when asked
'Is everything okay?'
With a wind-pain smile displaying the ravages of my teeth 
minced by tough steak... I lie.
I hate myself for doing it...
I'm a frigging cook for heavens sake.

Last night watching the news I thought
wouldn't it be newsworthy if someone actually said
'Yes I've made the most awful cock-up!'
That I would call... News.
All lying through your back teeth, not answering the question items, 
that are now featured as News could be axed, the vacant slots could then be filled with
far more interesting things on the telly; reality tv, soaps and
all the wonderful programmes that smack of the freak shows of yore.
Now that I would call progress.

That was a WHOPPER... Sorry!

Gone off on a major strop... yesterday at the end of the session,
cold but oddly happy I made my way home.
I will return, the weather WILL improve 
and all will be sweetness and light in this little piece of
quietest Kent.

On the other hand...?


  1. Sweetness and light are over-rated on this planet. It may be better if you've got nothing good to say to say nothing, but there's no reason why you can't say nothing with a flounce and a timeless hand-gesture.

    1. Trouble is... my head is full of nothingness. Flouncing I've got off to a fine art, timless hand gestures have made me gold medal winning digitally dextrous.


  2. LL, I'm with you all the way, speak up and tell the truth. I'm a Sagittarian and we are CANDID.

    Jean x

    1. Preferably with knobs on I always say Jean.


  3. I'm afraid I have to be honest- with no memory cells left, if I tell a lie I can't ever remember what I said!

    1. Love it Elaine! That's the trouble, as many folk (read politicians) will hand on heart testify.


  4. So it went well then Linda!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    1. Errr... Sort of! Whether they want me back?

      At least I can add a castle to the many and various places I've been chucked out of.


  5. Scotney? Bodiam? Herstmonceaux? Just where do I find the Greenest (and most rambunctious) Girl in School?

    1. Two reasons why I'm not telling...

      1. Looking back through your blog travels it wouldn't be long before you'd find me.

      2. I'd hate you to see the living breathing me.

      3. I'd have to kill you.

      4. Someone from there might discover my irreverence.

      Alright, I know, sums never were my strong point.