Friday, 15 February 2013

Have polenta will travel...

This is positively the last time I will skirmish
with edible road grit more commonly known as
None of your quick cook flabby facial scrub type...
this is Mafia style pasta with machine-gun attitude.

Don't ask me why, cos I know not.
Ever since having the most exquisite fried polenta
in a posh restaurant I've fallen madly, deeply in love.
Alright I know my not so secret passion is usually for men,
gay men, not to put too fine a point on it.
For ages after, at all dinners here I would serve baked polenta.
 Eons of stirring and ducking out of the way of the great
Pompeii-like gobs issuing out of the top of the pan.
(You try stirring while keeping your head below the parapet...
 Mr Chad's School of Cookery)
 The addition of mortgage inducing door stop size,finely grated organic, all-singing
And still I didn't twig as head down at the table, I troughed back wodges.
Re frying it with brekkie; emptying three quarters of it into the brown bin
twig I did not!

Eventually the penny dropped.

Was the desire all mine?

I thought no more about my passion of a grainy Italian kind.
That is until before Christmas I saw a recipe for cornbread.
Aah!  My eyes lit up, give this a go LL.
As I slavishly followed the recipe, visions of
toasted cornbread for Christmas brekkie with crispy bacon 
and maple syrup swam before my eyes.
A new 'old Spanish custom' about to be cemented into family folk lore?
The telling word was cement.
Communion cornbread taken at the Altar of Greed was not to be.

Forget it LL!
Go back to gunge (fib)

If you're still with me (thank you, I do admire your fortitude)
you might be wondering why I'm telling you all this?
I'm sat with huge cup of coffee, small cafetieres worth,
waiting for my new cornbread recipe to come out of the oven.
Yes, I'm giving it one last chance.

I could see before I mixed the ingredients that one loaf tin wouldn't be big enough,
so the overspill I put into a smaller tin.

That's out of the oven and very good it looks too,
alright overlooking the fact it's only 1" deep it sits looking very chipper.

The large loaf is out and I've waited the required 5 minutes 
before turning out of the tin.
Errr... It's not cooked in the middle, I've had to put it back into the oven.


Post Valentine-glow brunch today won't be...
Crispy bacon bathed in maple syrup, pertly sat
on fresh out of the oven cornbread.

Double Bugger!!


  1. Oh Linda you do cheer me up - absolutely hilarious! That cornbread does look very tasty - I do prefer mine cooked mind you!!!!!!! That cartoon made me laugh out loud!!!! Don't get the polenta mind - not keen on pasta only spaghetti! x

  2. Oh, that's what you do with polenta! Mind you the wallpaper is sticking very well - none of it's peeling off yet.

    1. Guess what girls? Both loaves are residing in the brown bin, another failure. I always say if you can read, you can cook. Errr... I tasted , I coughed, I pebble dashed the freshly painted kitchen wall... the daft tart had misread the recipe putting in one TABLESPOON (which in fairness it stated in the Waitrose Kitchen recipe) of baking powder. As I was putting it in leetle Gordon Blue trained me thought I can't ever remember putting in 1 TABLESPOON'S worth before! No worries, onwards and upwards. Then instead of 1 tbsp of sugar I mistakenly added bicarb. There's no hope is there?

      I think maybe I ought to fall in love with sliced plastic white. Which reminds me of my fledgling radio career hitting the skids. Perhaps I'll write about it in my next post.