Training is well under way...

1.   Job lot of Louis Vuitton sweat bands bought

2.   Cases of energy drinks ready chilled...
Champagne with the addition of Kir for extra vigour 

3.   Salt and Shake crisps to replace the salt depleted stores

4.   Wrist support as worn by the lovely Madonna; for the good hand, which wouldn't have had the extensive training that
my now defunct and sorely right hand has had

5.   Stella McCartney on 24 hour helpline in case of
Lycra fatigue of my specially commissioned boned and corseted
Olympic kit

6.  High Carb. hampers taylor-made by Abel & Cole 
for the toppest of top athletes - like what I is. 
Delivered four hourly...
'Always complete the course in order to
gain maximum dietary effect'

7.   Hourly rub-down by my coach with a damp copy of the Sporting Life

8.   Double strength throat lozenges for the cheering hoarse throat

9.    Fruit flavoured Rennies to settle over-excited antacid tums

10.  Learn the words to 'God Save the Queen';
in order that we don't have the indignity of Lesley Garrett singing it for us.


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