Wednesday, 25 July 2012

Picture the scene...

a latter day Ma Larkin sitting in the shade of a 
magnolia tree, carefully shaped to resemble a Maharaja's 
palace.  Would you expect any less?

Legs akimbo, knicker less, sporting a Thai tie-dyed dress that has huge holes appearing where the acid has eaten into the material.  
Striding ahead down the alley she said to Pa
'Can you see my bare bum through the holes in my dress?  
Walking into a lamppost he failed to reply. 

Red paisley scarf completes the ensemble.

Before the ever loving, and I ought to say hugely understanding husband
sets off to swim, in imperious tones she requests a long cold drink.
No, no not a pint of brown and mild, but a juice drink watered down with naturally sparkling water.  Liver detox you understand, in readiness for the great Olympian occasion.  She's nothing if not totally committed to giving of her best. 

By her side she has an upturned 
James Day & Sons Ltd
Cranbrook Kent apple box; 
at exactly the right height in order not to cause too much strain
 on the expensively (£36.40) cuffed wrist.
Wind-up mobile phone, Kindle,
The Royal Horticultural Encyclopedia of Gardening
and Brewer's Dictionary of Phrase and Fable complete the picture.

Already today she has lightly dusted the den; ordered her next delivery
of Abel & Cole goodies and washed her many and various dusters.

Lettice's widdly bed, pulled out to air, competes with the strong smell of polish emanating from the dusters hanging disconsolately on the line.
Honeysuckle scent is hard pressed to make its presence felt.

The sound from the ancient hedge is deafening with the 
chirrup of newly fledged sparrows.  
Bumble bees are busy buzzing.  
Butterflies, flutter by.

Lettice endlessly stands and stares with tail gently wagging, at a snoozing hedgehog
slumbering unconcerned in the hedge bottom.

All is well in deepest Kent.



  1. "Butterflies, flutter by"
    tis no good, with such eqxuisite punctuation I shall have to unashamedy pillage that sentence.
    I'm not sorry and shan't apologise; sooner or later someone would have to do it so it might just as well be me.
    Chammy in the fridge, shall toast you tonight in recompense!

  2. Cheers my hearty!

    By all means pinch what you like, as long as it's not me bare bum!


  3. Another laugh out loud, wish I could bottle your humour, I'd make a fortune! Why do we hang onto clothes that are well past their sell by date! Comfort clothes I call 'em - love to wear them around the house and garden. Keep up the training, lifting a glass of champers to the lips without spilling requires precise manouevering! jayne x just working my way through a small box (note the small) of ferrero rocher = well it is me birthday! x

  4. Happy birthday Jayne, Us Leo's (think you might just be one?) must stick together. Ferrero rocher - you sure now how to live.

    BIG love,


  5. Must have been your birthday if you are a Leo too. Have to confess have eaten all the contents of the ferrero rocher - have got a box of chocs to start next!!!! Happy belated birthday linda x