I always think I'm younger than everyone else
I'm loud, larger than life
From the age of 13 I've been on a diet...
ever since my parents took me on holiday to Teignmouth to stay with Great Auntie Gertie.
There's a name to conjure with; she was a very proper Edwardian lady with a tweed suit and a bun.
The minute she clapped eyes on me she loudly declared
"That gel needs to go on a diet!"
On and off I've been on one since, thanks to her and that, I'm sure is why I've had a life long battle with my weight.
This photo I ought to say is of me taken a few years ago in one of my many and various slim, well slim for me phases.
I'm confident, at times over confident.
If I've enjoyed a book I bully pals into reading it, no matter it isn't the sort of book they usually read.
I never get to tell the hairdresser my problems, because they're always telling me theirs.
I'm an addict...
Cheesey Wotsits are my drug of choice
I always think people don't recognise me?
I'm a fool.
I always look on the bright side. If things worry me I have a lucky lever inside my head that when I've got fed up of worrying I can flick. Magically the worries disappear.
I'm getting increasingly deaf and big brave me has a problem admitting it,
In all other things, I say it like it is!
I have a major problem with people who fret about ageing and worse than that, do things to their faces and bodies. The future generations will say they did what...
Inject poison into their faces?
Have bands fitted in their guts?
Had everything known to man lifted and tucked,
even the bits that don't see the light of day?
Although having said that, I do not like what I see in the mirror every morning
I do try and convince myself that the lines are laughter induced
And I am BLOOMING proud of them
(that was a tiny lie)
I'm brutally honest, sometimes I wish I wasn't.
I wish that as you get older you should do less not more.
I do aqua-aerobics three times a week, walk the dog most days, gardening
and all I really want to do as I sink into my twilight years, is to lay horizontal on the sofa with a glass of chilled sparkles, a bag of 'you know Wots' and a thumping good read.
Not a lot to ask is it?