Friday, 18 April 2014

The story so far...

Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum
pitch up at their local Am Drams.

'It will be a good way to get to know folk!'
Dum says to Dee,
she conveniently forgets they've lived in the village
for 11 years!

She has aspirations of a theatrical kind,
he just wants a quiet life.

They sidle in...
her looking like a galleon in full sail,
him towed along like a pesky life-boat in her wake.

Dum... think Peggy Mount/Hattie
with a sprinkle of Margaret Rutherford.

Dee... think Johhny Depp
shorter, without hair
a girl can dream!

So far, so good, well that is...
until Dee gets all the good parts.

Dum deserves an oscar for her performance
as they drive away.

'Well, you are so much more talented than me!'
magnanimously she cried.

Alright, I admit it was grudgingly said.

Dee gets a raft of parts...
A drunk Russian, a French Cavalry man, a Belgium General,
A Germany soldier, a British Tommie to name but a few.
Oh... also he has to sing Silent Night in German.

You, I am sure, get my drift?

Dum gets the part of a heckler in the 
Emmeline Pankhurst scene.
And not forgetting leading out the British
contingent as Ireland...
so far so good
except he, she, it, okay, I own up... its me,
 has to wear over my pierrot outfit,
a green wraparound skirt and
to add insult to injury, do a jig!

This is me who skulks around mainly in black
to cover the curves...
Now, not only head to toe in white,
but with the added bulk of a once round the gasworks
green frigging skirt.

I can see it all...
my bosoms will have a field day
as they move independently of each other,
vying for attention over and above the
Emerald green tent.

Some might say, serve her right,
time she was taken down a peg or two.
And you know something, I'm inclined to agree,
not that I'd ever admit it, mind!


  1. Congratulations to both of you on your successful auditions - such fun! I am currently rehearsing my part as one of the three witches of eastwick - our leading man is 17, hurrah!

  2. You'll enjoy it..........eventually. Any problems, rise above it dear girl.

    Jean x

    1. At my weight... you 'aving a larf?


  3. Congratulations LL. Let's hope there are no hecklers in the audience he Klingon the heckler. This could get ugly :-/. Of course you have that other role of supporting Dee when he realises what mess you got him into. Good on you both ~ amateur theatre is very big amongst my work colleagues.

    1. I just enjoy the roughly-toughty edge of Am-Drams. Trouble is I don't know that my Oxbridge fellow thesps quite know what they've let loose?

      Watch this space.


  4. I am sure it will all be alright on the night Linda! The thought of your bosoms moving independently had me chuckling to myself, Mr. T has just asked me what I am laughing at!

    1. Some good has come of it all Jayne... Wednesday night will see me putting in a prima donna performance as I slope back to Slimmers...


  5. Never mind those hammy people in stage center. The audience will be mesmerized by the brilliance happening off to the side by that new unknown who has embraced the role of heckler.
    "There are no small parts"

    1. This heckler is in the crowd on stage. I'm just worried that I might upstage the magnificent Emmeline and that would never do!

      'There are no small parts!' Have you seen the size of my ar*e?


  6. You must give us the dates and the venue - we'll get our camera batteries charged!

    1. Blimey Nilly, Is your camera the size and strength of the Hubble telescope to see all the way from Yorkshire to Kent? You're going to need more than a squillon fluffy pink rabbits to power it!