Saturday, 27 April 2013

The March of the Scarecrows...

Introducing the late lamented Jackie T
who after a sex-change operation reigned as Jack T
until sadly he died in October 2010.
Tits never did nest in his brassiere.

Regular readers of my blog will know of my war on cats;
not only because my garden has on occasion felt like 
Cat Shit Central, but because of my love for our garden birds.
This year has been particularly bad due to the visits of a variety of 
mangy looking critters of the feline kind.
Don't get me wrong I don't hate cats, I just
hate harvesting cat shit instead of carrots.

Last year I thought I'll buy a high velocity
water pistol to shoot up the obvious bulls eye that presents itself
as they depart the plot!
A cunning plan, I sent off for this harmless
deterrent, happy in the knowledge that no cats would be hurt in 
the making of this cat-free zone.
What I soon found out is that in order to pressurise the water
you have to pump the frigging thing up,
 by which time the sodding cats are three counties away.

Plan B...
This year, after much thought and not a little money,
I decided to get real and determinedly deter.

Enter the ScareCrow...
a magical device that on movement across a wide area
sprays a huge shot of water.

Trouble is I've never seen it in action...
although since its arrival I haven't seen sign of pussy.


  1. We suddenly have 3 new moggie neighbours (it seems that young professional couples with no children must have designer cats these days) and for the first time in 25 years I'm troubled with this Poo Problem. I've tried a spray that claims to confuse (the cat? me?) and pepper so far - I'm hoping I don't have to spend more or it might be cheaper to get my own guard cat.

  2. Ye gods, I doubt that Jackie T will scare away the cats but at least you'll not get burgled.

    The difficulty with cat poo from neighbour's cats is that neighbours with cats are invariably "cat people" and in the eyes of cat people cats just do not poo, but only occasionally spray rose-petals from their arse.

    Install a Rottweiler or a Mastiff.

  3. Whoaaaaa, what is all this cat hating...
    If you plant closely it might help but please people don't condemn the cat because it has to go somewhere.
    Ian Hutson....."Cat People" ???? What a silly statement.


    1. Oh dear Crafty Cat Corner - struck an uncomfortable chord with you there did I? Meeow! [I'm assuming that you're not really so cosseted with your furballs that you've never heard the term and don't recognise its validity! Wouldn't want to patronise you that way or be insulting!]

  4. You have stirred up a real hornet's nest this time Linda. I do so look forward to reading your posts, you are so hilarious. jx

  5. Ooooooh... think I've struck a nerve here, so will leave it to the folk who take the time to comment.
    You can't beat a bit of argy-bargy to get the ole blood racing, thank you guys!


  6. My god... just come across your blog, someone with the same sense of humour, Mrs. Slocombe eat your heart out! ♥