Sunday, 28 April 2013

I stood on the landing and...

with nose finely tuned, I sniffed...
out of the corner of my eye I saw the 
ScareCrow shoot a jet of water, rushing to the window 
annoyingly I couldn't see what had set it off;
the culprit long gone.
Well at least it works, I thought, as I went
back to my Inspector Clouseau sniffing.

'Madame, that is by far the ugliest nose I have ever seen
and I compliment you on it, it suits you!'

The odour is of dead mouse.
The cat folk I have inadvertently offended,
will smile and say serve her ruddy well right.

Living at the end of a row of three hundred year old

timber framed cottages, the mice must have a field day visiting the 
Daddy bear, Mummy Bear and Baby bear cottages.
Daddy Bear - Us - not very clean and tidy
Mummy Bear - Spotlessly clean and tidy
Baby Bear - Not at all clean and tidy.
Visiting all must make for a rich and varied diet.
Trouble is they find their way in, and not having the 
sense to tie string around their back paw, forget 
the way out. 
Our cottages are perched on sloping ground and
have socking great voids underneath, a veritable 
rodent Alton Towers.
We've spent good money to
discover the cause of the smell when it occasionally occurs,
all to no avail.  Now we just live with it.

Our tiara and tux dinner parties are on hold
until the smell subsides.
(That is a socking great fib!)


  1. only smell worse than a dead mouse. . .is a dead rat!

    1. #There's a rat in the kitchen and wot you gonna do?#


  2. Oh surely not? It's virtually impossible to upset "cat people"!

    Have you tried netting a feline sh*tter in the garden and chucking it into the void, just to see if it does any good?

    Of course, cats aren't much good with rodents generally - I believe that the House of Commons has a resident cat and look at the politicians installed there.

    Woof woof?

    1. That's no pussy, that's the Beast of Bolsover... Dennis Skinner, the only MP who says what he thinks.


  3. Md as a box of frogs..tee hee

  4. That's should read MAD as a box of frogs

    1. You and me both kid, and long may it continue.


  5. That pong from under the floor happened to us once, but when we put a new floor down some years later later we found no little skeleton. However we've just re-floored another room under which we found some big sawn-up bones! An Edwardian murder says Mr N - the builder's lunch-time stewpot say I.
    I wonder...