Thursday, 29 December 2011

Do's and Don'ts of my Christmas repast...

As I climb into my Christmas leisure wear...
Oh alright - jim-jams.
I got to thinking...

Are twenty six different English cheeses a tad too many for the cheeseboard?
Which only today have had a mouse, nay a shrew type attack.

Was the whole fillet of beef a little on the generous side for just two?

Boxing day - the 'normal' size organic free range, all singing, all dancing,
lived a happy life 'til the moment of the old chip-chop, fowl a little OTT?
I nearly forgot ALL the usual trimmings

On arrival of WSD, Why Oh Why, did I feel a little mean on presentation of cold cuts?
Yes the gammon was of the highest calibre, Masterchef finalist-cooked in mulled orange juice, finished off with marmalade and grain mustard glaze.

Two Christmas cakes - Yes you heard right!
One dozen mince pies, which on going to press are still languishing in the tin in my cold store. 

The sticky toffee pudding (don't go there LL)
Sorry Maggie!

Wednesday dawned bright and clear...
from out of the depths of the deep freeze came...
a leg of 'free range, organic'
those words once a frigging gain.
A happy pig fed on a diet of apples and acorns.

Hold tight...
not content with that, I had to add to the 
spicy rubbed leg, a slow roasted belly of the same animal.

The trifle I was planning to serve with semifreddo and...
clotted cream.

In the death by proper vanilla custard twilight of the evening...
 I trudged across the no-mans land of the courtyard to my 'outhouse'
read walk-in fridge; 
(sounds so much better what!)
I decided in a rash moment of frugality to refreeze the pud.
Not before a spoonful had been Greg Wallace approved.

Back in I wandered to the family playing
Sleeping Queens
who hadn't even noticed my absence.
Sleeping Cooks my tired and tight body cried.

Wandering back up to the Winter room I weakly floated the idea of a soupcon of
trifle, cheese, dessert wine to accompany the aforesaid?
The wall and wail of cries made me think...


The worse bit of this post is I haven't exaggerated...
Well only the 26 cheeses.

I'm not proud, I'm aghast at my foolhardiness.
Each and every year I say 
'Never again!'

This year I am determined 
that 2012 will see a new regime, you know the funny thing is...
people will I hope still want to come and share food with us.  

A bowl that my son Aaron gave me eons ago, says it all...

'The company makes the feast!'



  1. Phew, that sounds like A LOT of hard work, LL!

    I'm quite sure your lovely family go to see you not eat their own body weight in free range/organic meat/pies/dairy produce. However, it all sounds absolutely delicious and if there's any left......;o)


  2. How on earth do you do it?! We struggle to prepare for just the one day that we have to cook for. I stand here and salute you in amazement. Maybe cut back just a little next year ... !

  3. are a passionate foodie and wonderfully creative cook/chef...I'm not surprised you have beautiful food at Christmas.

    Me...I am making a note of this year's buys (food wise) and what I need to buy (or not) next year i.e.size of turkey, this year's bird was far too big. Don't want to makew that mistake again. xxxx

  4. Well....I think you should just have one great big party....soon! Never mind re-freezing anything!!
    Happy New Year to you both. xx

  5. Viv, yes by all means make a list for next year BUT unlike me be sure to STICK TO IT!

    Debs, I can at least be happy that nothing has been needlessly chucked away. The only things that have i.e. bag of slimy coriander and yellowing broccoli are working their magic in my compost bin.

    Happy new year dear pals,


  6. We noticed you dissapear into the cold wintery night to continue to feed us - Sleeping Cooks indeed! :) All your hard work in the kitchen was very much appreciated. x

  7. Sorry Giacomo, only just this minute seen your comment (13.26pm), I'm nothing if not on the ball! Yes I do know my efforts were not in vain... However my middle name is no longer - EXCESS! Let's face it in these straitened times it's not appropriate.