Lonely Hearts (How I met Hubs)

'I'm warm, womanly and winsome,

54 going on 34,

full of fun and fizz.

You're loyal, loving and giving and

up for a laugh.'

The very last paper I would have ever considered buying was the F.T.

Why? Cos I was never any good at sums, that's why! However...

One fateful Saturday on a long and tedious journey with friends, we stopped at a motorway service area. I decided I needed to buy some reading material, The Socialist Worker, The Guardian, Farmers Weekly, The War Cry, Bunty. But no... the FFFFinancial Times???

What possessed me? To this day I'll never know.

My man had not long ago died, having said that, that most definitely wasn't the reason I read the lonely hearts column on that particular day. I ALWAYS read these ads, I could never work out how everyone was always "Tall, slim and attractive". Not in my book they weren't, least of all little ole me. Anyway, as we zoomed up the M1 I got to thinking..... if I ever did put an advertisement in a newspaper, this would be a good choice. The reason being (and here we get to the nitty-gritty) most folk reading this newspaper would be a) intelligent and b) have some dosh. Alright, alright... a) have some money and b) have a modicum of brain-power. I needed a man I could get out of the box for wining and dining, flowers, treats and choccies and other reciprocal arrangements. Then when it suited me bung him back in the box. Trouble is I never could get the bugger back, nor I hasten to add did I ever want to. And another thing ... I certainly got a) but not b), I'll leave you to decide which was which.