'We're cabbage...

people!  We don't like mange tout,

baby sweetcorn and veg that haven't been cooked!'

Got me thinking as I read a review of the findings

of a coach trip aficionado...

With our coach trip a week away...

Am I making a horrible mistake?

Are we ready for cabbage boiled for 20 minutes,

Morris dancers and many and various comfort breaks en route?

My mind whirled back in time to my father's 

70th birthday meal at a posh restaurant,

where he said to the waiter...

'Please make sure they cook the vegetables properly!'

I'm ashamed to say I cringed with embarrassment, 

little knowing then he would only live for another 

four months.

How things and more importantly...

me, have changed in the intervening 

24 years.

I've cooked for the highest and lowest of the land,

I've travelled the world and now I'm on the cusp 

of a completely new experience...

a frigging coach trip.

Forget the Maldives, the Arctic, Mauritius and the like!

'This will be a totally new experience!'

I said grandly, every fibre of my being quivering (with fear perhaps?)
 as I sold the idea to Ted.

Personally I blame it on Shirley,

who is a thrifty Yorkshire lass.

Giving me the hard sell, I could feel my

Green Shield Stamp genes awakening...

'Yes, yes, Yes!