Saturday, 1 February 2014

As I sat picking the...

fluff out of the parquet floor, 
with a view to needle-felting it into a 
hibernating dormouse, I got to thinking...

1.   Why are the stinking rich so awfully thin?

2.   Why do they walk around as if they have a permanent sewerage
smell under their button noses...
acquired after much money spent in the hallowed turf
of the street that runs behind John Lewis?

3.   Why do they insist on four meals a day when they don't flaming eat?
(How do I know?  Cos I've been on the receiving end of that little

4.   Why do they inject poison into their faces?

5.   Why do they insist on smoking cannabis?

6.  Why is it that the only money they carry is rolled up
£20 notes?

7.  Why is it that they think we believe them
when they endlessly crack on about 
how much money they give to charity?
(Don't they know that we the unwashed hoi polloi 
know it's a frigging tax dodge!)

8.   Where did they acquire the skill of accessing
your bank balance at a 100 yards and then 
blanking you?

9.   Why do they always insist that they are exactly
as Mother Nature intended?
(Don't they realise we can see the join!)

10.   At exactly what point in their development 
did they become so blimming smug?

11.  Why do they wear Hunter wellies when any
self-respecting farmer will tell you they are

12.  Horses?  Why?

13.  Horse boxes... always being driven by
females at 23½ miles per hour... why?

14.   Horse racing... when surely they know 
what happens to the one's that don't make the grade?

15.  Four wheel drive vehicles for taking little
Ezra to prep school?

Oh I could go on...
however I'm running out of fluff. 

Love moves in mysterious ways  



  1. You are back at full pelt, hurrah!! My sister in law's favourite quote is "what was it that first attracted you to your millionaire boyfriend"

  2. I know quite a lot of people like that who AREN'T stinking rich- sounds like you're talking about much of the human race! (is that correct grammar?)
    (and horseboxes go slowly so as the horse doesn't lose his balance)
    welcome back! xx

    1. Thank you for not taking it seriously Elaine.


  3. You've caught my present mood to a T, Linda. Carry on ranting! Mind you - much as I love the beautiful South of England, every time I visit I come away muttering,
    "Blooming fat arse of Britain, this place!"
    Please may we have a little more up North, Mr Bumble?

    1. When I lived in York, getting off the train from a trip down to see my Dad in Deal. I walked out of the station, saw the minster and breathed a huge sigh of relief. We even thought the other day, of looking to scuttle back.


  4. Guilty of 11 and 15 I am afraid.....
    Number 11 are 12 years old, faded green, no buckles and probably treacherous as hardly any tread left underneath
    Number 15 x2 used for towing trailers for business. Ford Focus wouldn't be up to the job.
    Having just paid the delightful tax bill for Jan I can assure you I am no longer filthy stinking rich either!
    Keep up your controversial observation of life Linda...
    Julie x

    1. Even brand spanking new... they're Sochi skating slippy. Sorry but they ARE!

      I didn't know you had a sons. called Ezra x 2 and used them for towing trailers. What are you like lassie?


  5. Please tell me that photos been photoshoped?

    1. Photoshopped? If I knew how to do it, I would apply it to the early morning bathroom mirror.