Pages

Friday 7 February 2014

I just don't know...

what to do next for badness?

Shall I...

shoot off to dfs to buy a leather sofa

lose three stone

push the boat out and turn the washing machine 
up to 40ยบ in order for my clean knicks
to not smell of old ladies, lavender and wee

say what I really, really mean

shave the backs of my thighs,
when I'm not planning on a trip
to the Maldives any time soon

book an oap coach trip

start reading Mills and Boon in order
to get a little excitement into my life

own up on my first visit to a play reading at our 
local Am Drams, that I am honestly only interested in
being a back-room bod...
and NOT the beautiful nubile romantic lead

put a sock in it and try and start
acting my age













12 comments:

  1. I love your posts they always make me smile! x

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I know I've said it before but... an audience full of Jaynes would be a magical thing... thank you.

      LLX

      Delete
  2. Go around tapping your furniture just like the Oak Furniture Land ad - that'll sort things! Jane x

    ReplyDelete
  3. The BACKS of your thighs? And there was I thinking that hairlessness was one of the perks of being a lady of a certain age.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That made me roar, especially as I've just been to see 'The Wolf of Wall Street' And there's me looking out for you on Bargain Hunt!

      LLX

      Delete
  4. Oh dear, I've just bought some lavender fabric softener! xx

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. 'Old ladies, lavender and wee!' an expression told me by my daughter-in-law... was she trying to tell me something?

      LLX

      Delete
  5. Amateur Drama ~ good for you!! Somehow, I can just imagine you doing that. Enjoy Linda xx

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. 'A handbag?' Got me in one Carol. Trouble is I'd corner the market in batteaxe roles. Better a little scene-shifting, then I could tackle no. 3 on my list.

      LLX

      Delete
  6. I think you've probably already done two of those haven't you? I have, but bet they're not the same two, and dfs isn't it for either of us, when the adverts come on we sit there in tears trying to bagsy the least awful sofa leaving the loser with the purple monstrosity, ooh, what's Ted sitting on up there in the corner?...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Which two though? Ted is sitting in the best chair in the house. A magnificent chair I spied years ago in an antigues emporium. At the time I was skint, the chair was the princely sum of 90 quid. Not really planning on a.) buying a chair and b.) wanting to spend that vast amount of money. I decided that I would only buy it if it was comfy. It has magical properties by way of invisible suckers that once your bott settles in comfortably... time slips by. Mind in neutral, Ali Ba-ba like you float away.....

      LLX

      Delete