Sunday, 16 March 2014


I never thought my drawers would dry.

Bloody cheek!

Who does he think he is?
Come to that...
Who do they think they are?

What's brought about the tears of laughter
trickling down my my chubby cheeks and 
twenty six chins?
Oh, and not forgetting the three laps 
of the ceiling done in record time.

Rod Liddle, that doyen of the
svelte figure and three packets of fags a day
 has brought it to our knowledge that
the Saudis have banned the name Linda.

'Have you ever met anyone you liked
called "Linda"?
Lindas in my experience tend to be
unnecessarily cheerful, in a slightly sinister
sort of way, and overweight.
Also meddlesome and garrulous -
a nightmare really.
So, congratulations to Saudi Arabia 
for banning the name

This Lindy Lou couldn't agree more.
Why oh why did my parents lumber
me with the name?
On meeting another Linda I instantly, as they do,
know which year we were born...
sad really.

 I've often thought about the name I'd like...
something herbal, fragrant...
Sage, Tansy, Chervil.

When asked by my son and daughter-in-law
what would I liked to be called by my grandchildren,
the idea of Granny, Nanny, Grandma, Grandmama,
Nan even, all gave me a severe
case of the vapours.

Perish the thought...
 I don't feel old enough to be called...
Mum, let alone Gran!

It didn't take me a 'nano'-second to come up with the 
name Poppy, and Poppy I am.
I've even started signing myself off as Poppy, only to
them, mind!


  1. you are such a tonic Linda, you always make me laugh out loud!

  2. I simply cannot agree with Liddle (one of his critics described him as having a "self-congratulatory cake-hole". How true.)
    Being of "Linda vintage" myself, I have had several good friends with that appellation and all have been very attractive, intelligent and indeed delightful - though I have to admit Lynda was definitely a parvenu!

    1. It was a good year Nilly, Lindas notwithstanding.


  3. Ha! Love it. My sister is Lynda (why with a y?, I have no idea) and I shall be forwarding this post to her for a gander. You've got it easy love, try being called Sharon! I ask you, what was my mother thinking of.

    1. Don't look now 'Shar', but I've always found those with a y, tend to look down on us with an i. Whatever you do don't breathe a word to you know who!


  4. altho the saving grace for Linda is the alternative of a pretty shortening. . .and shortened Sharon has some merit. . .but Elaine?

    1. I have to admit I've drawn a blank. Elaine is a name that sits quite happily in the middle of the road. A name that wouldn't have an aspiring poet pen a sonnet. A name that defies getting too excited either way... love or hate. A good honest name. My suggestion is to call yourself Sorrel.