Linda's law of activity...

1.  Don't!

2.  As a Garden Guide trodge around the garden 

at speed, in order visitors can't catch you and

ask you a question you haven't the foggiest

idea of the answer.

3.  The rule of thumb...

Never forget you can't use it!

e.g. hanging washing out

 the squeezing of pegs is sooo

painful as is...

peeling vegetables

cutting out

hand sewing

writing...

folk used to say

'You've got such lovely, unusual hand writing,

can't understand it mind!'

I now know why old ladies writing gets spidery...

it's their thumbs.

Pulling up drawers is also problematical...

the very reason I gave up thongs...

the twang as I lose grip positively

makes all sensation from my nethers

sing... I wouldn't mind, but not in the way

a girl would want them to.

I now have to wear lisle stockings

industrial strength because I have to use

my whole hand to pull them on.

You just won't believe the sheerest Wolford

stockings and tights I've holed in one before I've even

 got out of the clubhouse.  

I wouldn't mind but I don't even play golf.

What's a girl to do when the size of the latest

Booker prize winner - over 800 pages,
means she's not going to 

be able to literally, not literary, get to grips with it!

Download it to you Kindle...
 I hear you cry...

err, I gave it away.

Why?

Because I got it in my head that

all the books were

precised like Readers Digest Condensed Finest.

And no amount of people telling me they're not, will

persuade me otherwise.

Intransigence rules most definitely OK!

Last night saw super sofa slug out of her lair.

Biker boots, beret and scarves a plenty,

she was out shaking her booty with bucket in hand.

Thumb forgotten, she was on a mission.

Now we are a furry family member missing
i.e. Lettice,

we can go out together... a novel experience!

Tunbridge Wells firework display.

Ted orchestrated his troops

to collect for the

Kent, Surrey & Sussex Air Ambulance.

Me being a shrinking violet, decided I would 

raid the Christmas lights and bedeck myself

with same.

Beret... sporting twenty six poppies, (last week

we were abroad collecting... so perks of the job...

 you can snaffle a handful!)

lit up like a Christmas tree, I waylaid all,

as you might imagine.

An old chap I got chatting to, started saying some very complementary

things, what's a girl to do?  Especially with an eye to money

of the folding kind!

As he was pulled away by his friends,

I said 

'Don't worry I'll catch you on the way out!'

I'm not proud...

it was for a good cause after all.

'You can catch me any time!'

his words echoed through the gloom, as his friends

lead him away.

Senility can strike when you least expect it!