Gobshots...

They're like snapshots...

of the wordy kind.

Stupid things I say...

If anyone asks me how many of anything I want

I always reply... 26

I call the fridge t'oven

Beetroot - rhubarb

Tomatoes - cucumber

'Is there anything else to do Lin?'

'Yes, please will you repoint the chimney!'

is a common refrain that reverberates around our old homestead.

That never gets done, I can't for the life of me think why?

Could it be that it doesn't need doing LL? 

I say the most stupid things...

only yesterday I got chatting to a woman in the coffee

shop of my local Waitrose.

I asked if I could join her; from the planet she was on,

she came down to earth with a ploomp.

'People watching I can tell!' says I.

Well one thing led to another, our subjects ranged from

the suffragettes, the pill, women who wear well and so on.

I could tell she was foreign.

We got to talking about regional accents and how acceptable they were now.

'Be proud, nothing to be ashamed of!' spouted out from my mouth.

She said she was from Germany adding

'What about the Nazis?'

I was just about to say

'I'm from Dartford, what about the tunnel?'

Funny thing was, it didn't seem the right thing to say;
in the nick of time I discovered my prudence gene and

decided to button it!

I touched her arm, our fellow feelings talked
in a way words never could.